week 36 - crenshaw melon & puppy parenthood

Hazelnut is the size of a crenshaw melon… nearly 6lbs and over 18.5 inches long. MAN that’s a heavy melon... and expensive. We paid nearly 12 bucks for that sucker! And who even knows what the heck a crenshaw melon is?! I’d never even heard of them, and was quite impressed with myself for finding one.

Uh oh. I think the waddle is about to get worse. The baby should be dropping soon, and apparently that makes for sore hips and pelvic area. Hmmm… those areas are ALREADY sore. This could get interesting…

As far as Hazelnut is concerned, everything but the lungs should be mature and in working order. Now I just need him to stay in there for a few more weeks and get those lungs good and strong!

My profound thoughts for the week...

1. Good gracious, I have GOT to stop broadcasting my stretch marks…after today. Out of NOWHERE, it suddenly looks like my belly has been CLAWED (including—yes—the cursed naval area). And let me tell you: discovering said stretch marks on the same day that I decided to clean out my closet and organize all my cute itty bitty pre-pregnancy clothes is just plum depressing.
(Side note: I'm not actually depressed. I WAS aware that this was a distinct possibility and perhaps inevitable. I was just holding out hope that I would somehow avoid it.... but no worries. I know it's part of the package deal, and I'm still happy as a clam).

2. Frequent trips to the toilet during the night beats peeing the bed. How’s THAT for a positive spin…

3. Last week I FINISHED WORK!! I was working in a small, unique community (Raymond) that randomly has the greatest pharmacy with the cutest things on earth. As a going away present to ME, I bought myself an apron to add to my international collection, as well as an irresistibly adorable robe for Hazelnut.

I love aprons (and I HATE pants).

4. We’ve been having a beautifully hot summer, and I’m often asked how I’m handling the heat. Just fine, thank you! We have a lovely attic fan that sucks all the cool night time air IN, and the hot house air OUT, so our house keeps pretty cool, and I’ve been just hunky dory!

5. Last year, some speechie friends and I started a little newspaper so that we could keep up with each other’s lives (and entertain ourselves). When Kumeu was a puppy (before I was pregnant), I included a little ditty likening puppy rearing to raising a child.

So here, folks, is my philosophy of puppy parenthood...

Puppy parenthood closely parallels people parenthood:

1. We shamelessly refer to ourselves as Mommy & Daddy.

2. The same noise (i.e., the bark) means “I’m hungry” or “I have to pee” or “I have to poo” or “I’m tired” or “I’m lonely”, or any combination thereof.

3. Just because Mommy & Daddy are sleeping, doesn’t mean puppy’s bladder takes a rest.

4. He’ll put anything in his mouth (and swallow it) if you let him.

5. He requires constant supervision (when not sleeping).

Raising a puppy also differs from child rearing:

1. It’s legal to put Kumeu in a crate and leave the house for hours on end.

2. He started out as a infler (combination between an infant and a toddler). He was tiny with bladder control issues, but had mischievous energy up the wazoo.

3. He gains 1.5 pounds per week.

4. He’s really furry.

5. His communication attempts will likely never become more refined.

Lessons we can all learn from Kumeu:

1. Don’t be afraid of what others think. If you’ve got it, flaunt it.

2. But know when to be modest.

3. Life’s too short NOT to eat that pile of rocks or devour Mommy’s ice cream cone.

4. If you need to stop and take a giant poo in the middle of a busy road, don’t worry… the cars will stop for you.

5. Enjoy the small things in life (like spring snow storms).

6. Don't take food for granted. CLEAN YOUR PLATE (even if it means crawling into the dishwasher to do so).

7. Happiness is being with the ones you love.

The end.

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