In the past, I have sort of taken advantage of his visual impairment by playing little tricks on him. Usually your classic, run-of-the-mill naked bum fart in face type of tricks. But this time, I had a whole new scheme up my sleeve (er, down my shirt shall I say). Poor unsuspecting Lowell received his little surprise on Father's Day. We were in Chilliwack at Marc & Kylie's for Zeke's baptism. We had coffee every morning, and on this special morning as Lowell reached for the coffee, I eagerly interjected, "Want a latte instead?" He graciously declined and said, "No thanks, I'm fine with just the coffee."
"But Lowell, it's FATHER'S DAY! Let me make you a latte!" I insisted. His lips turned up in a cute little grin as he replied, "Okay! You can make me a latte!" I promptly made my way to the fridge where there was a bottle of freshly squeezed breastmilk (my breastmilk... not Kylie's... I think). I connivingly poured it in a mug, heated it, frothed it (MAN that stuff froths well), added the coffee and anticipatorily passed it to poor unassuming Lowell. Meanwhile, my family was in on the secret and Kylie was ready to record his reaction...
Side note: sadly I was NOT camera-ready. Barely out of the shower, no make-up... we're just lucky I was dressed (albeit in Lowell's clothes)!
In summary: HE DIDN'T REACT! He thought it tasted NORMAL. So then, naturally, I had to give it a try... and it DID taste fine. Bit of a weird after taste, but nothing that couldn't be marketed at Starbucks! He was hesitant to finish it when everyone started laughing and he didn't know why, but once I told him he was drinking a breastmilk latte, he chugged it back... no questions asked.
I'm pretty much the best wife ever.
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8 comments :
Julie, I know you love the shock factor.
There are no words.
I think we just became ex friends.
Mercy Law?
Seriously?
This is still sinking in.
I may be throwing up in my mouth a little.
Seriously?
No.
And you blogged?
Recorded?
No!
NO!
Sick. blah. sick.
Appropriate reaction?
sick!
And as I'm writing out the word verification, I realize my face is all scrunched up....and your FAMILY WAS IN ON THIS?
What THE HECK!
sick.
I think it's awesome! it takes a fearless character to do what you did :)
That is sick...and warped! That's as bad as spitting in someone's food! Terrible!
It's the main source of sustenance for most children and therefore is implicitly consumable. Yes, it comes from a breast (not a cow's teet - does that sound more appealing? Also, I just said "breast", are people going to scream at the indecency?), get over it. If he's fine then you have no argument.
Haha oh Shar how I love you! It's true... that breast milk of mine is sort of what kept Fraser alive and healthy for the past year. And we were secretly hoping that it's magical ingredients would cure Lowell's eyes... perhaps he needs to try it in larger quantities! :)
Chey- I thought I already left a comment for you... perhaps I dreamt it. :) Anyhoo... pretty much Lowell and I laughed the entire way through your comment! You hilarious girl you. You better keep this post away from your Dad though b/c the fact that we own a minivan already has him questioning our friendship to your family, and this might just put him over the edge!
Oh, and you need to spend more time here with us b/c CLEARLY I need to break you in more! PS- sorry for making you throw up in your mouth. :)
Anonymous One and Anonymous Two- Haha! You both made me laugh... :)
Julie, my dear long stride, we do need to hang out in real life. What is this pen pal business? Your antics do keep me roaring though---!!
Coffee sometime?!~ bahahahahahaha!
Chey- YES! You bring the coffee, I'll provide the milk.
BAHAHA!
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