Things on the farm don't always go as planned...

Apparently.

Here are a few examples.

1. I was attempting to retrieve Beau’s leash for his morning walk when a magpie dive-bombed my head, and I looked up to see (and smell!) a skunk chillin out directly in front of Beau’s leash. Sorry Beau- no walk today!

2. Lowell and I were getting in the car to head to Pioneer Camp where my Mom was cooking for the week when a neighbour drove up and informed us that our cows were in their field. Soooo, we took a little detour to guide the herd back to their pasture.

Dad T lured them with his cow calls while Lowell brought them up at the rear, and I stood at the side to prevent them from darting east. My job didn't exactly require talent, so I made use of the camera hanging around my neck.

Dad T fixed the culprit...

And Lowell washed all the acquired manure off his feet.

After that little fiasco, we DID make it to the camp in plenty of time to chat with old friends (and meet new ones), eat a delicious dinner... and get facials.

Yes... facials at camp.

While the boys were on an outrip, the gals had a spa night. Mom and I relaxed on the lawn while 14 year old girls slathered oatmeal and cucumbers on our faces.

I was still picking dried oatmeal out of my nose and ears the next day, but the refreshing experience was totally worth it.

3. The initial plan was to do lots of farming and gardening this summer until BAM- Alberta’s weather turned nasty and CLEAN-UP became the main item on the agenda. Torrential winds, rain, and hail tore the gardens, trees, and crops to shreds. We were away for the weekend, so I didn’t get pictures until AFTER clean-up day number one.

Although Mom and Dad T's house and animals were okay (thanks to the surrounding trees that took the main beating), friends and family in the area weren't so lucky. Spooked horses ran through fences and bled to death, and one calf ended up dead with no eyes after being struck by lightning. FORTUNATELY, I do not have pictures of these things.

Uncle Barry and Aunty Lois' one year old trailer was pelted pretty good...

As was Lowell's cousins' place.

(Apparently Little Teagan was removed from her bed just moments before the window shattered. Phew! And by the way, I hacked into my Mother-in-Law's facebook account and stole these photos from her niece's page. That's not inappropriate or creepy at all is it?!)

It's AUGUST for crying out loud... NOT THE MIDDLE OF WINTER!

Ah well- at least there were no surprises on cow-butchering day.

WHOOPSIE DOODLE. Apologies to you vegetarians!

When tooting brings people together

Disclaimer: If you are at all uncomfortable, annoyed or offended by talk of farts, toots, or "cutting the cheese", please discontinue reading now.

Today is Lowell and my 2nd Anniversary. The other day I was thinking about my favourite things about marriage, and you know what landed at the top of the list? Farting. Well, not just farting per se, but perhaps what it represents (I am about to get very deep here- about as deep as one can get using a fart analogy).

To me, farting represents complete openness, honesty, and transparency with each other. And not to mention extreme tolerance (and also a little fun). If we’re willing to share gross & potentially noisy and/or putrid air from our rears, then what WON’T we share? What could be worse than that? WHAT HAVE WE TO HIDE?!?!!

I remember the first time I blew it (tee hee) in front of Lowell. We were just young bucks then. It was the same year that this picture was taken...

After we had been dating for about a year, we were driving home from Wisconsin (where Lowell did his internship for new media). The Calgary Flames were in the Stanley Cup playoffs, so we stopped at sports pubs along the way in order to catch the games. (Side note: I can only assume that American sports pubs are VERY DIFFERENT from Canadian sports pubs during play-off time. There were 5 big screen TVS and NONE of them had the game on. The waitress had to ASK her manager what the Stanley Cup playoffs were (*GASP*) and whether they could put it on one of the TVs. Oh for shame). Anyhoo…

With very little energy left in my body, I slumped in the wooden seat to watch the game. In my uninhibited state, I accidentally let out an audible ‘squeeeeeaaaaak’. Lowell appeared surprised, looked at me with questioning eyes, and inquired softly, “Did you just toot?”

Only crickets could be heard for about 5 full seconds as the wheels were turning in my head and I was debating whether to lie and say it was the chair. I ended up admitting that the sound escaped from my derriere rather than the chair, and Lowell responded with, “aw, that was cute.”

Probably not a great move as he tooootally reinforced the behaviour and I've never looked back. It's been 5 years since that fateful incident, and we've unabashedly shared many toots since then. And I plan on sharing many many more in the years to come...

WE'RE FARMERS!!

Well, Lowell is a farmer, and I'm a farmer's wife... temporarily at least.

Initially our plan was to bum around Lethbridge for 6 weeks before my work and Lowell's practicum begin in September, but our financial situation dictated otherwise. Apparently traveling through 3 countries over the course of 4 months with no income does not exactly result in great wealth. WHO KNEW?!

I very nearly reverted to my "cool days" and got myself a paper route before Lowell came up with the brilliant plan to help his parents out on the farm. Lowell's parents need the help and we need the moolah, so the situation is very mutually beneficial. No parasites here!

So far we've been having a blast living on the farm with the fam.

Lowell's been busy in the fields...

In the garden...

And also fooling around a little...

(What??!! Did you think that the jumping shots would stop just because we're back in Canada?!)

I've been enjoying wifey duties such as cooking, cleaning, bringing snacks to the boys...

(My Mom stopped by for a visit on her way to Pioneer Lodge to be camp cook for the week, so me and my mamas delivered the goods to the field.)

... fence painting...

(Don't look toooo closely- only the first coat is done!)

... and paying attention to the wittle aminals.

These kitties are 4-5 weeks old, and there are more kittens to come SOON. The super-pregnant-grumpy-pants cat has been moping around scowling at everybody and everything for the past couple weeks. We expect her to pop any day now!

Aaaannnnd the verdict is... ME LIKEY THE FARM!!

home sweet home

Let's sum up from July 10th on.

We flew from Auckland to Alberta via Los Angeles. We had a 28 hour layover in LA as our final flight was booked through airmiles and if we missed it, we'd be POOCHED. We had originally hoped to connect with some friends, but all 3 of them were unavailable. HOWEVER, as coinkindink would have it, Lowell's SISTER Julie Anne was in LA with her lovely friend Meghan. WHAT ARE THE CHANCES?!

They picked us up from the airport in their little PT Luiser rental, we hung out at the beach, slept at the hotel, then headed back to the airport in time for their morning flight.

Here we are on the beach...

I'm proudly donning my Michael Jackson dress. More on that another day...

I sooo inconspicuously snapped this shot of Julie Anne & Meghan for the SOLE REASON of catching the dude in the background with his pants down. Literally...

Let me zoom in on that for you.

Yes, I do believe his pants situation was INTENTIONAL. And quite disturbing.

We also visited Muscle Beach.

Ripped celebrities such as Arnold Schwarzenegger have been known to work out here. Lowell is flexing his pipes off to the right there. We were briefly worried that he was about to get the crap kicked out of him, but his big guns probably scared the buff dudes off.

Fast forward.

We arrived in Calgary at 8pm on July 11th. Julie Anne picked us up from the airport (again- she arrived in Calgary a few hours before us, so she continued to be our chauffeur) and drove us to Lowell's parents' farm where most of the family was gathered. YEAY FOR FAMILY!

On Sunday, we went to church where MY MOM SURPRISED US!

I consider myself an observant person by nature, but I was apparently the only one who didn't notice that my Mom was THERE and huddled beside the mailboxes with a recipe book casually covering her face.

Grandpa D (Lowell's blind Grandpa) was sitting on a chair against the wall, and I was chatting with him (with my back to the rest of the church). He mentioned how great it was that my Mom was there, and I delicately corrected him, "No Grandpa, she's not coming until tomorrow when she'll pick us up to take us back to Lethbridge!" As we continued to discuss how great my Mom was and how much I was looking forward to seeing her, Lowell tapped me on the shoulder and told me to look beside me. Lo and behold, there was MOM in all her shining glory. We shared a tearful hug, then glanced to the side where everyone was watching-- probably relieved that I FINALLY saw the surprise.

After church, Lowell's parents had a welcome home party for us at the farm. There was a great turn out, and it was so good to catch up with family and other community folk.

Lowell and Grandma T catching up.

Marti had recently created her own giant Dutch Blitz set, so we put it to good use.

Our team either won or almost won (because Lance may or may not have cheated)...

In the evening, we had a BBQ with just the immediate T clan (plus my Mom!) It was soooo great getting to know our 4 little nieces again. When we left for NZ, only Carmen (the eldest) was really talking, but now the 3 older ones are all little chatterboxes. And Emily- who we last saw when she was 3 days old or so- now has control of her head! And also her facial expressions...

On Monday the 13th, we drove with Mom back to Lethbridge where Lowell and I set up our new home like mad, and even got to catch up with some friends!

After one week in Lethbridge, we headed back to the farm where we are staying for the summer. Yes, you read that right. Lowell is a farmer. I'm a farmer's wife. More on that later...